Words are not enough to capture the seduction of distraction

To me, the easiest part about carving out a place in the visual arts world is writing something about it. Yet most of my artist colleagues don’t know how I make myself do it on a weekly basis. Easy. It only took 20 years of deadline writing for newspapers.

‘Easiest’ isn’t quite the right word; it’s more like ‘reliable.’ I can rely on the fact that if I sit down at a blank screen, soon words will link into sentences, inspired and connected by images. It’s really just a habit at this point. If I don’t get the chance to try to make literal sense of the past week, things start to swirl up into a ball of confusion. But once it’s out there, it’s done and I can move on. 

If only my days at my shared studio were as reliable. I wish I could start the morning with the same confidence as I stare at the freshly gesso’d blank canvas, and have the same conversation I get from writing a column (okay, blog). The two sides of my brain do not dance together at the studio. I do not enjoy the small eureka moments of understanding, or any great leaps forward in concept. And unlike weekly writing, I can’t see that I’m creating any history of my process/progress. 

Some days I feel like I’m just painting myself into corners, or cycling back to where I started months ago. I often need to call in the reinforcements — artist friends — for a studio visit, when I ask, “Am I flat-lining here?” or “Am I a one-trick pony?”

But words work for me. Letters soon coalesce into strands of ideas and at the moment of this writing I see one taking shape as I type, and drop in these images of my latest paintings. 

This much I know is true: This is the most distractive time in human history and I live in a neighbourhood that is arguably the nation’s capital of everything yoga. As I ride to the studio, I’m generally pre-occupied with this idea of the swelling dedication to personal, meditative practice juxtaposed with the seduction of our screens and the growing realization that our personal identities can be stolen in a click of a button.

 I think about  how we crave peace of mind and heart but are captivated by the fantastic and unfathomable, packaged in high-def or in 3-D, with same-day shipping, something to Like, Share, Tweet, and post to Instagram/Tumblr/Pinterest.

Some days at the studio I just need to retreat, retrace past meditative practices, like lace-making. Other days I need to represent the fracturing of that focus.

If painting really is a conversation the painter has with the materials, surface, technique and image, I’m seeing that this is talking about mapping out an understanding of the here and now, where words fail.

It’s somewhere in the uneasy spaces between the digital and the handmade, the personal craft expression and the art and decor industry.

Put into words, it’s a little terrifying to be in unexplored territory with no obvious path ahead.

I’m just bush-wacking, looking for a clearing.