Big crush in a small art town

It’s a quandary, going to a commercial-gallery show opening for the likes of Important Canadian Artist Attila Richard Lukacs.

I’m a short person and this is a small art town, which means I end up confronting a lot of chests and backs in what is always a crush, because this is what is happening on this particular Thursday night so everyone is here.

In a bigger city, the realtor-collectors, the minor-celebrity gallery owners and curators, the star-struck art students and miscellaneous pretties would be dispersed through the many openings, giving everybody a little more room to breathe it all in. But this is where Vancouver Celebrities columnist Mac Parry is. This is it.

Pros of going on opening night:
• being in the same room as the artist
• party-charged energy
• getting cleaned up
• homebody-defying social occasion
• Free wine

Cons:
• No chance to actually see the art due to chest/back views
• Small talk, distracted by people-scanning
• Zero chance of talking to the mobbed artist
• Free wine

That’s five pros to four cons, so I’m still up for facing the Vancouver gallery opening crush, but I’ve picked up a few tips for the under-tall and slightly claustrophobic:

• Go early and leave early
• Survey the scene from any available stairs or from the mezzanine level
• Keep expectations for meaningful conversation low
• Plan on a time to return to see the art
• Have one — and only one — glass of social lubricant