One bit, two bits, green bits, black bits

This may be the third or fourth column/post I’ve written that could come under the headline, ‘Overthinking will be the death of me.’ There is definitely a book in there somewhere about the power of overthinking to sabotage the creative process.

My latest overthinking sabotage occurred as I was experimenting with binding up broken toy bits (consciously not overthinking why).

I was taking care of my sister’s kids while idly binding one green toy remnant to another. At some point, the curious object appeared to be done. And it was good.

It’s an intriguing object but when photographed is also a visually absorbing abstract. It has richness in its ability to conflate the second and third dimensions. It is heavy with cultural reference yet lightly humorous.

I was onto something.

After a couple of hours I quit because it clearly would have no logical endpoint. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned about the creative process it’s to let the failures hang around and stink up the joint for a while. In my experience, the only way to get to the source of the stench is to keep it in the periphery. And a couple of days later it came to me: I was so hell-bent on the outcome I had completely negated the making, which, when referring back to the green toy-bits cluster, was the essence of the thing: play. 

I took it all apart, then started over, finding the fit between one bit to another bit, then adding one bit where it fit. (Maybe the book should be in Dr. Seuss language).

It had a beginning and an end, and the entire process was an adventure without a map. The result is a sculptural object with implied power that appears as part engine, part vehicle, part robot. It has composition, balance, architecture, intriguing sight lines and varying perspectives. It has something to tell me: Your instincts are good, keep going.

From the junk of life emerges new life.

You can see it in the above photo; it’s a mess. Even as I was binding it I thought, This is not working, this is not working. Why is this not working? It has no balance, no composition. it is artless. And it was a chore from the get-go.

So, like every creative I know,  the ol’ mental processor starting whirring away in the background, rolling over this concept. Friends and I talk about this slightly obsessive stage when developing a new work. You’re still functional in your daily routine but that whirring puts you in a slightly distracted state. It’s sort of like falling in love; there’s always something there to remind you of that growing passion. And when I fall in love with an idea, I fall hard. I’m consumed by the topic like the Paul Rudd character in The 40-Year-Old Virgin who can’t stop talking about Amy or The Big Lebowski‘s John Goodman character who links any conversation to his days in ‘Nam.

I’ve been seeing toy-bits inspiration everywhere, including in a car column in the morning newspaper. The picture of an engine reminded me of the toy-bits clusters and suddenly I was shoving aside breakfast dishes and breakfasting people and dumping my hoard of broken toys onto the table.

I will make that engine-y thing, I said. And therein lies the fatal flaw.